Always
by Sakura Sango
Summary: "Only freaks stay with freaks." Muraki is unable to keep from licking at the pale shell, as he relives that night again. "Your new friends are going to run soon. Why do you think no one has saved you yet? Are you even worth saving? You weren't back then."


**Title:** Always.

**Author/Artist:** Arizonaicerose (Sakurasango)

**Rating:** PG-13

**Warnings:** look at the prompt, some swearing

**Prompt:** Yami no Matsuei, Tsuzuki/Hisoka: hurt/comfort - if everyone else goes away / I will stay

**Word count:** 1275

**A/N: **So this was from Livejournal's community springkink

_x-x-x-_

_I'll say it one last time for you_

_Then we really have to go_

_You've been the only thing that's right_

_In all I've done_

_~ 'Run' by Snow Patrol_

_x-x-x-_

"You really think they like you," the whisper slides along Hisoka's ear like a viper poising for an attack, dangerous and deadly in a small package. The boy wants nothing more then to block the man out. Plug his fingers into his ears and start humming to make this monster disappear. Yet- no matter how hard he tries- he finds himself unable to completely block the man out.

"You're wrong," he hissed at the other man. Teeth bared like a trapped animal Hisoka takes a step back, and another and another before feeling the firm wall trap him. He feels more like a trapped animal as he glances around, trying to find an escape. Why is it now that he cannot remember any of his training. What was the chant? Huffing Hisoka narrows his eyes, trying again to

Muraki smirks as he leans in, his lips caressing the shell of Hisoka's ear. Under him he can feel the teenager shudder and he is taken back to that night years ago under the giant tree. "Really," the venom from the viper's fangs drip onto the boy's shoulder, tainting him further with just the right words. There was a reason why the snake was able to make Eve take that first bite. "Do you think they would stay around a _freak_ like you? Who is going to stay?"

It is a deep ingrown fear of his. After being shunned by everyone he knows- his parents, extended family, friends- Hisoka fears always of being left behind. Behind his tough, emotionless façade the teenager is always watching. His tired eyes take in every movement, his ears listen to every whisper and every laugh. Humans were much too easy to read, just look into their eyes- the link into their souls- and you can find out more then a therapy session could ever pull out. The problem was no one ever looked.

But Hisoka did, even without his empathic powers, he looked. And waited for the day they would begin to back away. He wanted to have more of a warning then what he had in his past life. This time he would not be taken surprise of.

"Only freaks stay with freaks." Muraki is unable to keep from licking at the pale shell, as he relives that night again. "Your new friends are going to run soon. Why do you think no one has saved you yet? Are you even worth saving? You weren't back then. That's why no one rescued you from me all those years ago."

Breaths are labored as Hisoka feels the old panic taking over him. Eyes widen as pupils dilate. As his heart flutters in his chest, he can feel the sweat beading on his skin, pooling in his palms. Nausea rolls in the deepest parts of his stomach and it takes all of his effort to not hurl on his ratty sneakers.

Blond tresses wave as he shakes his head, palms planted firmly over his ears. _They're not leaving. They won't leave me. … Not again…not again…no!_

Hisoka wants away, he needs to get away. Elbows fly out as the panicked boy screams and tries to fight away from the corner. Fear courses through his veins as he lets hands fly out before him. He can no longer see, the hysteria blocks his vision, making everything a tie-died mess as he pants for air. His chest heaves as he tries to grab a decent breath.

His head pounds as the world swirls, his feet falter for a second and he finds himself trying to not pass out from the lack of oxygen. His body tries to grab whatever air it can, though he cannot let his body grab a decent breath. Fingers flex and bend as he unconsciously begins to replay the gestures that were taught to him by the Chief long ago. His mind blanks as his body takes over.

"No one care about you. They never have and never will."

The menacing whispers finally break through the last wall as the last symbol is made with bony fingers. Hisoka screams as he holds hands out before him, flames shooting out from around him. He is unable to see anything, dilated pupils making the world blur as he wildly sends his attack out.

As the last flame leaves Hisoka feels his eyes flutter. The panic induced adrenaline suddenly stops and his body deflates. Knees unbuckle as eyes close. Off in the distance Hisoka is certain that he hears Tsuzuki cry out his name. Though through the rush that fills his ears it is hard for him to know what is said. Before he hits the hard floor Hisoka feels his last grip of consciousness fade away. With one last blink he is able to clearly see Tzusuki run towards him.

'_Go away, I'm just a freak. Please just leave me alone.'_

_x-x-x-_

The first sensation he feels when he wakes up is softness. With eyes shut, he swears that he is floating on the fluffy clouds. Then, as his mind slowly awakens more, he can feel the light sheet that covers his body. It ghosts his skin, tickling him with every deep, soothing breath he takes. (For the first time since Muraki had cornered him, he can breath easily.) When he takes a deeper breath, and if he concentrates just hard enough, Hisoka is certain that he can smell the rancid leftovers of Tsuzuki's cooking disaster.

His mind takes the last turn towards waking up and the next breath he takes is attached to a moan. Blinking his eyes crack open and the boy looks around. Part of him wants to sleep forever, Hisoka is tired of living- both in the past life and in this one,

"Ah, you're awake that's wonderful!" Tsuzuki smiles brightly. "Perfect timing too. I just made dinner!"

Proudly Tsuzuki holds out a plate of brown rice with vegetables and some mystery meat that Hisoka was too scared to try to guess. Licking his lips Hisoka tries to find a good excuse for not eating. Unable to find any excuse- real or not- Hisoka just shakes his head deciding that silence is better then anything.

"Why not?" Tsuzuki pouts, eyes widening and lower lip quivering. "I made it just for you." Again he presents the plate; only to get the cold shoulder. Sighing he puts the plate on the side table while sitting on the edge of the bed.

Hisoka turns away until his back is to his partner and lover. Muraki's venomous words are still fresh in his mind, their wounds still glowing bright red. "You just are going to leave me," he mutters, not expecting the other man to hear the words.

"No," Tsuzuki soothes away a couple lines that have formed on Hisoka's face. "I will never leave you. I promise. No matter what I will always be there. Always there to catch you. Even if everyone else goes away, I will stay. _Always._"

Lips ghost over Hisoka's trembling lips before sliding to his pale cheek. Foreheads press together as Tsuzuki changes his position until he is sitting in the boy's lap. Lips ghost along the boy's eye lids before planting butterfly soft kisses down the boy's jaw line, before traveling back to the soft lips that he has always loved.

Gently Tsuzuki cups Hisoka's cheek as he crawls under the blankets beside his smaller lover. No matter what, even if they are both up all night with nightmares and torturous memories, Tsuzuki knows that he will never leave. Reaching over Tsuzuki pulls the blond closer, his chin resting on top of his lover's head.


End file.
